Now, some of you might be saying, Victoria, you should have an interview up on the podcast today. While normally I’d say, you are correct, today I’m saying, I have changed it up a bit. I’ve decided that for 2018, I’m alternating weeks of the podcast between interviews one week and every other week I’ll be doing 5-10 minute mini-coaching sessions.
Did I mention that I’m training to be a health and life coach? I’m half way through certification as we speak, and I’m learning so much good stuff that I want to immediately share it with you all. So, expect the interview with magician Carisa Hendrix next week!
Today on both the blog and the podcast, we’re talking about what you need to let go of in 2018 in order to achieve your goals. Call it a resolution, call it a goal, call it whatever, most of us have something that we’re working towards. It could be a promotion at work, saving money for a home reno or a vacation, losing weight or improving your sleep, and so on. We all have something.
Here’s the thing… most of us already have too much on our plates.
In general, I see the “too much” falling into one of two categories.
Category One: My Life Is Too Damn Demanding
My life is too demanding can manifest itself personally, professionally, financially, health-wise or some combination thereof. Your job could have the expectation that you work a zillion hours of overtime on a regular basis. Your finances could be precarious so you have to take on a second job. You have one or more kids (frankly any number of children can be challenging!), and you have extra responsibility to meet their needs. You could be going through a life trauma like the loss of a loved one, a divorce, a lay off, etc. Your health could be in trouble, whether because you haven’t had time to proactively take care for it, or you’ve been dealt a bad hand.
My life is too damn demanding is rough. And it can happen to any of us at some point (or various points) in our lives.
Category Two: I’m Multi-passionate
For those of you, like me, who are multi-passionate, sometimes we put too much on our plate because the idea of leaving something off can feel painful. I want to blog, write fiction, rock at my job, be a great mother and wife, continue podcasting, train to be a coach and so much more. And I struggle to decide what has to take a back seat when, because, let’s face it, we can rarely have it all at the same time. That phrase, having it all, has been so damaging to women (primarily) the world over.
Here’s the cold hard truth.
You may not like it, but most of us shy away from the truth, myself included.
If you want to achieve your big goal, that thing that you care about more than anything else this year, something has to go.
I repeat, something has to go.
The idea of letting something go, taking something or someone off your plate, can be terrifying. It can even have repercussions in the process of letting go, but you have to weigh up the balance of keeping that thing versus the benefit of letting it go.
What does ‘it’ look like?
That’s all down to you. It requires some serious self-reflection, and maybe even a conversation with someone if it affects them.
For example, in 2018 my husband and I have decided to let go of our AirBnB. We’ve loved being hosts and it’s been fantastic supplemental income. In 2017 AirBnB hosting brought in an additional $8,000 to our household income which was so needed.
Here’s the thing, as I get closer to giving birth to our second child, stress levels are rising. I want more sleep. I feel LESS inclined to spend time cleaning between guests. Bookings are slower due to the economy, which has had us questioning our pricing strategy, our ratings relative to our competitors, etc. And as my son reaches the terrible twos, every time he has a loud meltdown I stress that he’s causing too much noise for those in the unit.
While we could use the money (and we could!), we had to weigh the balance that letting it go was the right decision.
How do you make that hard decision? By taking a hard look at both sides? For us, the benefit is less stress, more time that we can devote to things like my coaching training (which will create income down the road), my husband retraining for a new career, etc. Will money be tight for a while? Yup. So bye bye Starbucks – and thanks to everyone who gifted me Starbucks gift cards for Christmas… you are helping bridge the caffeine withdrawal gap.
For some of you, that thing that you let go will be a person. Most of us have at least one toxic person in our lives, either by birth or by circumstance. In 2017… I had to mostly let go of a toxic relationship. Now, I didn’t ‘get rid’ of that person entirely, because by birth it was too challenging and not the right decision to do so. What I did instead was press a VERY LONG pause button on our relationship.
That pause button (and make use of the pause option!) allowed me the time and space to achieve my 2017 goals. Don’t underestimate the mental space that toxic relationships can take up. You may not see the person a lot, but even by having them in your life, it can drain your energy and cause undue stress.
How do you make the transition and the letting go easier?
Again, it’s not always going to be easy, but what I’d say is to be super clear in your mind about your why. Why is the goal that you’ve set important enough to make time and space for? Is it to improve your health so that you have the energy to run around with your kids/nieces/nephews and live a long, vibrant life? Is it to write that novel that is burning inside you? Is it to finally save enough money to own your own home? Is it to develop your own business, one that you’re in charge of and can be proud of?
Find the strong, meaningful why, and keep that front and centre when you’re making the decision to let something or someone go.
If you need someone to give you permission to make time for you dreams and your goals, that’s this post, right here. I’m giving you permission. You deserve to live the best version of your life, but you have to take the steps to get there. The action, the decision making, the letting go and working towards your goals, that’s on you, but I believe in you. You owe it to yourself.