What a bleeding week. Mommy was supposed to be in Toronto, but instead she ended up in the hospital. Thanks for that little fun-filled trip. Seriously, though, you had us all freaked out with the whole not-moving-for-14-hours thing. Naturally, as soon as we got to the hospital and they hooked me up to the fetal heart monitor that’s when you start kicking.
Anyways, there were other less than pleasant symptoms Mommy was in for, and a little bout of shingles is also no fun. Thankfully we caught it early this time and the medication has made this case of shingles much less painful than in 2013.
Per usual, lately, I’m spending a lot of time thinking about what kind of parent I want to be and the lessons that I want to teach you. This week in particular, I’ve been thinking a lot about responsibility. Some people think that being responsible equates to being a boring person. I take a different approach to responsibility.
Responsibility is everything from not drinking too much at that party you go to when you’re sixteen (please… I never want to get the call from the hospital saying you’re getting your stomach pumped, so drink, but have a drink limit!) to being able to understand and admit to the difference between right and wrong.
One of the things I hate most in life is when people can’t take responsibility for their actions. If you do something wrong, admit to it. The next step, if you care to resolve the issue, is to take action to remedy the situation. Saying you’re sorry is one thing. Showing you’re sorry has value. That demonstrates responsibility and real humanity, in my opinion.
Randy Pausch covered apologies and responsibility in his incredible Last Lecture. I look forward to sharing this video with you when you’re older.
I don’t expect you to be perfect. I am not perfect. I will not be the perfect parent to you, no matter how hard I try. As I recently talked with my brother, I’m going to screw up royally as a parent, but in my own unique way. I hope, however, that when I’m wrong I take responsibility for my actions. If I don’t, I want you to feel that you can call me on it.
One of the other things that I truly believe is that we are each responsible for our own happiness.
It might sound counter intuitive, as often the things that bring us down are externally wielded. We lose a job or a family member. Someone lies to us or someone steals from us. All of these are incredibly hard things to deal with, but at the end of the day the only person that can make us happy is ourselves.
I truly believe that it wasn’t until I was comfortable with myself, until I took responsibility for my own fate, it was at that point that good things came to me. I was screwing up with guys, so removed myself from the situation. Do you know what happened then? I met your Dad. Or everyone in my class was stressing out about jobs after graduation, but doing nothing about it. I sent letter after unread letter to advertising agencies, and finally landed an internship. A crappy internship, mind you, but it led me to a better one, which led me to the job I have now.
We are all responsible for ourselves, even when life throws us epic curve balls. I hope, dear baby, that when life throws you the struggles that it will doubtless throw you, that you pick yourself up each time you fall.
Here’s the last thing about responsibility that your mother is going to soap box about. It is our responsibility to ask for help when we need it. More often than not, I find that people are great at masking their pain, their hurt, their troubles, so much so that those around them have no idea the extent of what they are going through. We can’t expect our friends and families to be mind readers. If you’re struggling tell me, tell your Dad, tell a friend, tell a counsellor. Help comes to those who ask, and though it can be the scariest thing in the world to ask for help, it’s when you make yourself vulnerable that you often realize how much people love you and want to support you.
So, little baby, responsibility doesn’t mean boring at all. It means you’re brave. It means that you are courageous. It means that you’re my little hero.
Love, Mum xx
Fun facts for this week:
- You’re the size of a head of lettuce.
- I think you actually roll now… I can feel this twisting beneath my belly which is both cool and extremely creepy.
- You like sweets… or your mom does. Can’t decide.
- We’re getting lots of walks in at the moment and for ages after it seems to lull you to sleep. When you don’t sleep, however, is when I sleep. Why is that?
- I incorrectly typed responsibility each time throughout this post. Every. Single. Time. My fingers always miss an ‘i’ on the keyboard.
What does responsibility mean to you?