What a week we’ve had. It’s been exhausting, debilitating and inspiring… sometimes all in the same day. I’ve attended a ceremony to recognize an incredible woman in my life who won an award for community service, and I’ve also been one of many people to lose an incredible person in my network.
This week was pretty hard. A coworker that I knew, a fellow blogger in fact, had an accident hiking and died. Just like that.
When our team found out we were in shock, tears instantly streaming down my face. I had just had coffee with this incredible woman two weeks ago as we’d shared ideas for our blogs, talked about each doing a guest post, shared our passions, etc. She was one of the nicest women you’d ever meet, and I’m sorry to say that you never will.
It got me thinking about you.
I wish so badly that I could keep the hard things from you in life. I wish that the world wasn’t filled with death, crime, hate, or lies. But… it is. Or rather, it can be. I wish I could swaddle you up and keep you sheltered from divorce, layoffs, breakups, teasing, bullying or, heck… even climate change. But, I can’t.
I hate that someday I’m going to have to be the person to answer your questions about all of these awful things. You’ll ask “why”, and I don’t know what my answer will be. Not yet.
For most things in life, I believe that they happen for a reason. A death like this week always proves me wrong. I can’t say that there’s a reason for this tragedy, because if there is, it’s a bad reason.
What I can say, and what I’d want you to focus on, is where the positives are. What I can say is that this beautiful woman who passed away had a zest for life like no other. She ran, she blogged, she traveled, she smiled, she laughed, she hiked and she loved her husband immensely. This is not the girl that chilled out on the sofa much of her evenings (currently like your momma), but rather the girl who embraced all that life had to offer. Her zest for life should be an inspiration and a lesson for the rest of us. Embrace every moment that you can, yes, even the ones on the couch. Just make sure you live.
I can’t make all the bad things in life go away. What I can do, what I’ll try to do, is to create a home for you that is full of love and life. A home where you can be comfortable enough to have the confidence to try new things and to experiment. To love and be loved.
There’s a quote that I adore. It’s by self-made millionaire, Carlos Slim. He says, “most people think they need to make a better world for their children. In reality we need to make better children for our world.” Jen was one of these better people for our world, and I know this, because even with her gone, she’s inspiring so many people to give back and be better.
I can’t make the world perfect for you. I am one person. I can, however, strive to create the environment that supports you in your endeavours.
For all the horrible things that happen, there is an equal balance of lightness and joy. The sad part is that not every person is given this balance. I will work as hard as I can to tip your balance to joy, enthusiasm, zest and laughter. If we keep out the negative, however, we might not appreciate what we have.
One day I look forward to telling you about Jen, the kind of person that she was, and the kind of greatness that she inspires. If you’re even 1/10th of the person that she was, I’ll be an incredibly proud Momma.
It’s been a tough week, but I appreciate having you. As I said in last weeks’ update, even as tears were streaming down my face, you would give me a comforting kick. If you’d been on the outside, I think it would have been a hug.
All my love,
- You’re the size of an acorn squash. Honestly… it’s getting to the point where you’re the size of things I wouldn’t recognize in the store!
- Braxton Hicks baby! Yep, every couple of days the belly hardens like a rock and takes a good 5 minutes to calm down. I am left feeling slightly nauseous. Thanks for that.
- I’m getting fat! Well… said the stick thin tiny doctor who I don’t believe has ever been pregnant before. In reality, I’m a couple of pounds up from what I “should” be, but people keep saying that I look small for 29 weeks (although they might be lying to me). I’m going with the latter.
- You’re running out of space. I can tell, because you’re constantly elbowing me and your head seems to like to poke out around my ribs. Weirdo…
- You’re as long as you’re meant to get. At least, that’s what the internet tells me. Now you just need to fatten up. Shouldn’t be too hard, seeing as your mommy is apparently doing her fair share 🙂