Today’s episode is short, to the point, and really where I’m at. I’m really conscious about not presenting a picture perfect life to you. I see other stress coaches out there who don’t seem to talk too much about the hard stuff, or they talk as though all the hard stuff is in the past. But that’s not realistic. Hard stuff happens all the time, life gets difficult, and if I only show you the good stuff, then I’d risk you thinking that I was special.
And as regards stress… I’m not. My experience with stress is just like yours – new scenarios come up every day and I have to handle them. I just might have a few more tools in my toolbox based on all the work that I’ve done, but that’s what we’re here for today.
So, real talk, I am currently in a weird position where I need to make a decision. And it’s not clear, not by a long shot. One path is semi clear, a little bit of overgrowth, and the other path is buried by bushes, twigs, and gravel to the point that you’d need to take a machete through it – even then you’d only see a few feet ahead at a time.
I said to my own coach today, “I just want to know what happens six months down the line.” And I do. I crave certainty, but nothing about this scenario is certain and I contain no magic that I know of to see the future.
While I held my own little pity party for a day, I’m changing tactics.
I wrote myself out a list of the facts that I know. I don’t want to conjecture, I want solid facts. Then I wrote out what I didn’t know, the uncertainties. Sometimes when you fear something it helps to put a name to it, which is why naming the unknowns can be so helpful.
*Before we go any further, I made a handy worksheet out of all these questions so that you have your own resource if you’re struggling to make a decision*
Then I wrote down my top three priorities right now: mental health, financial stability and Stress Less Ladies (my family go without saying).
Next, I wrote out my Pro/Con list, and for every pro I wrote what exactly was important about the pro. We can get really vague, but I encourage you to be laser-focused and drill down to why a pro is a pro.
Next to the Con list. Next to each Con I wrote down how I would mitigate the Con. I can’t change that the Cons exist in life, but once I identify them, I can problem solve.
And finally… finally I wrote myself a letter saying why the decision that I’m making (with SO MUCH UNCERTAINTY) is the right decision in this moment.
Let me say that again, it’s the right decision in this moment. Six months down the line things might go sideways and I’d be tempted to berate myself for the decision I’m making. Hindsight being 20/20 and all, it’s easy to be hard on yourself.
That’s why, when making big decisions, I so encourage you to go through this process. That way when you look back, you know you took the time, you know you processed the information you had and took it seriously, and then you can remind yourself with confidence that you made the best decision with the information you had at the time.
That doesn’t mean it will end up being the right decision, but we’re not all-knowing, as much as we wish to be.
The final thing that I remind myself? I’ve survived 100% of my bad days. So if this decision doesn’t work out, that doesn’t mean that my life won’t. Could I have gotten where I want to go faster if I’d made a different decision? Maybe. But it’s like standing in line at Costco and picking the wrong one. Do you still get your groceries at the end of the day? You sure do.
To work through this on your own, you can download my worksheet and tackle your own challenging decisions.