Like many of you out there, I don’t like to ask for help. I hate it, in fact. It’s funny, because I’m over the moon to help other people. Helping other people makes me feel good, needed and like I’m making a difference. Asking for help, on the other hand, makes me feel weak and like I can’t cope.
Well… I’ve accepted that I’ve reached that point. After a series of mini-meltdowns, today I properly accepted that I need help and I asked for it.
Motherhood is no joke. I mean, it’s not like I expected it to be a Hallmark movie day-in-day-out, but I guess I didn’t expect it to be this hard. Colic doesn’t help. A baby screaming from pain that you can’t ease… that doesn’t help. Through it all, I tried really hard to not ask for help. I could come up with a million reasons not to do so. So and so is busy, they have enough on their plate, or whatever the excuse was.
My incredibly wise brother talked to me yesterday about how being a parent means you need to employ the oxygen mask. You need to look after yourself in order to be of any use to those around you, especially your child. Postpartum depression, like motherhood, is no joke. Leaving it to fester like an open wound is no good for me, for my child or for my husband. And so… I am taking an all around break. I’ve got a great support system of friends and family, have asked for help, and am on the road to righting myself.
I will be taking a short break from the blog. I think a month sounds like a good starting point. Girl Tries Life brings me so much joy, but trying to meet my self-imposed blogging schedule has brought some unnecessary extra stress into the mix. The one post I’m committed to keeping is Baby J’s three month update (due next week!), but otherwise it might be a few weeks until you hear from me. My hope is that when you do, I’ll be back in fighting shape, passionate about blogging as ever.
Whether you are (or have) suffering from postpartum depression, mental illness, anxiety or stress, do as I say and not as I have done. Ask for help. People are more than willing to give you the help that you need, but sometimes you have to say the words. And please, know that you are normal. Struggling, being stressed, feeling like you can’t cope – it’s an incredibly normal feeling, so don’t beat yourself up over it.
To those who have supported me to date, I thank you. More than you’ll ever know.
See you in a month.