It’s that time of year again! Yes, it’s the turning of the calendar page and the planning of a new year. New year, new you… or so the marketing efforts tell us. Here’s the thing, I think it’s New Year, MORE you. Let’s help you become more of who you are deep down. The person who’s perhaps got too much stress on their plate to enjoy sinking into the person that they actually are or want to be.
How do we do that?
Well, the business blogs will tell you that you need to set a SMART goal: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. SMART goals are great, I’ve made many and knocked them down, but there’s something SMART goals miss entirely – soul. Soul being a big word in this case for feeling. How do you want to feel?
I ask that question because so often we set goal to physical possessions or arbitrary milestones without actually assessing the why. Why do you want that? What do you think having that, or having achieved that, will make you feel? Why is it important to pay off your mortgage? Is it to be in a different financial bracket, or is the FEELING of being debt-free, relieved, calm? Why is it important for you to workout regularly? Is it to hit a certain number on the scale that doesn’t actually make a difference to your day to day life, OR is it so that you feel more energetic, less stressed, more resilient? Why is it important for you to carve out time on your calendar for the activities you love? Is it because finishing that 2,000 piece puzzle is on your bucket list, or is it because you enjoy getting lost in the flow of things and these activities make you feel more like you?
Knowing how you want to feel is not only the key to setting better goals, but it actually helps you know if you’re on track. As in… are you getting to where you want to govfaster?
For example, one of my goals for 2020 that I continue to work on, because there is no destination, is to become a more patient parent. Why is that important to me? Because I truly don’t want to be yelling at my kids all the time or feel like I’m constantly directing traffic. I want to FEEL that I’m having more present moments with my kids, that I’m able to see which hills are important to die on and which are them making the mistakes that they need to make to learn. I want to try new strategies rather than expecting the ones that don’t work to magically start working.
This goal is not SMART. Like I said, there is no destination in mind, it’s a state of being. Some days it goes great, other days… well, let’s just say my kids are toddlers, and statistically toddler siblings fight ever 6.5 minutes which feels accurate in my house.
What matters is I know why this goal is important to me (the why beneath the why) and I know how I want to feel. Those two pieces make the world of a difference in unlocking a better goal.
From there, then you can absolutely set micro goals that help you work towards the larger state, but know the why beneath the why and the how you want to feel.
If you want to dig even deeper into setting a powerful 2021 vision for yourself (of your own making!), I hope you join me for a Virtual Vision Board workshop that I’m running on January 3rd in partnership with In Her Circle. It’s all online, so as long as the time frame works for you, you can be anywhere in the world. Tickets are $20 CAD and there are limited spots available. It’s going to be absolute fire, because we’ll guide you through how to create a solid vision AND how to make it happen, because at the end of the day, that’s what we all want, right? Not just a pretty vision board, but the skills to make it happen.
Hope to see you there!